Dumb

The thing is, we aren't dumb. 

Well, maybe some of us are. 

But seriously, spend, say, six months in the industry, and you'll have heard pretty much every variation of an accident imaginable. And some you never would have imagined. 

We aren't dumb. 

When we ask you if you had anything to drink before you got in your car and subsequently drove through a field of sunflowers, keep in mind that we will order the police report. And we will find out that you were drunk. And, believe it or not, we won't care. Are you at fault? Yes? Is there coverage? Yes? Then we'll pay it. We don't care if you were drunk (underwriting may, but that's a different story). 

Now, if you do hurt someone when you were drunk, we care a bit more. We may not pay punitive damages in court, but we will pay a bit more if you got shit faced and hit someone else. Just let us know up front. Don't tell us that the bottle was from another night. Don't tell us you had one drink when you had 12. We'll find out. 

Telling us you're going to be honest and confess that you had one beer before you careened into the rear end of the SUV that was stopped at a red light, well, we appreciate your version of honesty. Out of curiosity, we'd like to know HOW BIG that one beer was, considering that the poor guy sitting in his car at the stop sign had to pick your sodden ass up off the street after you fell out of your car. And then had to dodge your vomit. Yeah, one KEG of beer, maybe. But size/amount ends up being just that - a curiosity. Believe me, we'll find out how much you drank, or how high your BAC (blood alcohol content) was. 

We aren't dumb. We've heard it all. So when you say you parked your car in front of your house last night, and the front end was up on the curb when you got up this morning, and there's damage all over the front end, and you have NO idea how that happened, you can rest assured that we will take a long, hard look at the damage before we pay you. And if you hit something, you'd better tell us now. It's easier for us to take care of it now, instead of after the lawsuit is filed. 

So yeah, we aren't dumb. But damn, so many of you people are.